As I move back into the dating sphere (God, help me!), I have been struggling with some insecurities about my size. While in a committed relationship, I was confounded by the obsession over appearances. Don’t get me wrong; I love my getting my highlights, painting my nails, and snagging the latest Elle blouse, but I have so much more to worry about than what I look like. However, now as I embark in the shallow setting of dating as a twenty-something, I am realizing that our appearances dictate our first impressions, artificially creating our value.
Teaching high school, I was perplexed by a conversation from two girls, each separately, about the other. One girl was meditating on how she yearned for the perfect golden locks and Hollywood-accepted beauty, while the other wished she could be as naturally gifted as a wordsmith. It is a shame that in today’s society, we have to be all of these things to be valuable as women. And the worst part is that there are women who are destroying themselves to create this image of perfection that causes the rest of us to go insane, trying to seek impossibility.
I have always beat myself up for not being thin enough. Whenever my stomach bulges out of whatever I am wearing, I feel a sense of shame so immense, that I feel bad that I subjected other people to seeing it. As I think about these insecurities, I am infuriated not only with society, but myself. How is a pouch so offensive to society? That’s why I think J. K. Rowling’s declaration is so powerful. I would much rather be a fat, but pleasant human being, than a beautiful bully. I hope that our girls can come to accept this realization as well.
Don’t let the mirror win. We are so much more than our reflection.